My Father is a brutally honest man in his opinion of people, places, and situations. Myself and others may not always agree with his opinions as they are just that. Opinions. However, a few simple things my Father said to me at a young age not only made my head spin but actually taught me quite a bit.
The first two pieces of advice I remember my Father tossing at me dealt with cars. I couldn't have been older than 5 or 6 when he told me that, no matter what you drive, you don't want people to see you driving around in said automobile that's dirty more often than not. My Father is an extremely organized and clean man. He always has been and almost to the point where it became a running joke. I'm nowhere near as organized and clean as he is but I present my spaces better than 90% of the males I've met in this world without really trying that hard in my opinion. There's definitely room for improvement but don't we all have room to improve upon most things in our life.
Next, my Father's dream car seemed to be a 5 series Mercedes-Benz. He eventually got his 560SEL and loved it. The odd thing was, he never seemed to drive the damn thing. As a teenager, I always wanted to go out with him in it. I asked him why he didn't take it out more often and he told me that you don't want to drive your luxury car around most people. Especially around acquaintances. This one stumped me at a young age until he pointed out that people judge you based on certain possessions that make you appear affluent in nature. In a nutshell, I learned that being ostentatious in regards to your wealth, is one of the most ignorant and ugly traits. I'm proud of what I've accomplished in my life and that feeling of pride sometimes gets me in trouble. I'm guilty of being somewhat boastful about the freedoms I've worked hard for; not what I have in the bank. What I have in the bank might as well be Monopoly money. I'm not nearly as successful as many people and my work ethic isn't what I've seen in my Father and others I've come to admire. I do well and hold my head up to that affect. I work different, though. I don't aspire to swim in riches. Freedom with my time is worth just as much to me as money in the bank. An over abundance of wealth is useless if you can't enjoy it, you're always chasing it, and when you're fast-tracking yourself into the grave stressing over accumulating wealth. Some of the most miserable human beings on Earth I've met and read about, have had insane amounts of money while some of the happiest and calmest people I've met, are ones that lead a meager financial existence. The people I've known in my life that I have admired the most are those that are insanely successful but you would never know it. The type of *self made* people that, for instance, have a few private jets at their disposal but you couldn't pick them out of a crowd let alone ever fathom them carrying that type of wealth. These are great people to surround yourself with. I've met most good souls such as this being a part of the small business world. Hard working individuals that provide jobs / opportunity to others without being, for a lack of a better description, assholes about it all are inspirational to say the least.
While I was in college surviving on ramen noodles, my Dad once said to me that a thousands dollars wasn't a lot of money. I almost spit out my 9 cent bowl of soup when I heard this. His only response to me when I told him that he was off his rocker was, "just wait until you get older." Lets just say he couldn't have been more spot on with this statement and, to this day, this has become fact in my world. A fact that I find myself hating. The more you make, the more you find yourself spending. It's pretty simple and choosing a lifestyle while finding balance in it all is something I think I'll be fighting to do for most of my life.
Fair warning with the next piece of advice I was given. It's a bit misogynistic but can be looked at in many ways. My Dad once said to me, "Son, nothing will cost your more during the course of your life than Women." This runs parallel to the phrase "if it flies, floats, or fucks, you're better off renting." This has always made me laugh. I own a watercraft and, damn, they cost a lot to keep up and you eventually leave them sitting in a garage somewhere after riding the hell out of them :) All kidding aside, I'm not blind to the fact that my Dad's statement, most likely, comes from his own challenges and failures within his love life. I get that and respect that. However, in a broader and less harsh sense, I've learned and translated the following from this particular particle of shit my Dad said to me: Your closest relationships to others whether intimate or not will cost you the most in the course of your life. We not only invest finances in many close relationships with others but we also make large emotional investments in others. I believe you should invest both in people that you are close to. If you don't, what's the point of bothering with it all? You'll never move anything forward not investing in it. So, open your wallet and especially your heart or failure will bite you in the ass. And, yes, I'd have to agree with my Dad. Relationships of an intimate nature can become gravely expensive endeavors in every sense. Healthy relationships should be respected and worked at. You should always be able to stand on your own, be comfortable with being alone and content doing so when you must, strive to stand next to someone rather than be in their shadow or be dragging someone behind you. Good lovers are good partners and should offer much to one another in return. What you have to offer doesn't always need to be solely financial in nature but the idea here is to pull your weight and be close to someone willing to pull their weight or you'll pay a great price.
Well, that's some of the shit my Dad has said to me at a young age that has stuck with me. Thanks, Dad.
No comments:
Post a Comment