My Father is a brutally honest man in his opinion of people, places, and situations. Myself and others may not always agree with his opinions as they are just that. Opinions. However, a few simple things my Father said to me at a young age not only made my head spin but actually taught me quite a bit.
The first two pieces of advice I remember my Father tossing at me dealt with cars. I couldn't have been older than 5 or 6 when he told me that, no matter what you drive, you don't want people to see you driving around in said automobile that's dirty more often than not. My Father is an extremely organized and clean man. He always has been and almost to the point where it became a running joke. I'm nowhere near as organized and clean as he is but I present my spaces better than 90% of the males I've met in this world without really trying that hard in my opinion. There's definitely room for improvement but don't we all have room to improve upon most things in our life.
Next, my Father's dream car seemed to be a 5 series Mercedes-Benz. He eventually got his 560SEL and loved it. The odd thing was, he never seemed to drive the damn thing. As a teenager, I always wanted to go out with him in it. I asked him why he didn't take it out more often and he told me that you don't want to drive your luxury car around most people. Especially around acquaintances. This one stumped me at a young age until he pointed out that people judge you based on certain possessions that make you appear affluent in nature. In a nutshell, I learned that being ostentatious in regards to your wealth, is one of the most ignorant and ugly traits. I'm proud of what I've accomplished in my life and that feeling of pride sometimes gets me in trouble. I'm guilty of being somewhat boastful about the freedoms I've worked hard for; not what I have in the bank. What I have in the bank might as well be Monopoly money. I'm not nearly as successful as many people and my work ethic isn't what I've seen in my Father and others I've come to admire. I do well and hold my head up to that affect. I work different, though. I don't aspire to swim in riches. Freedom with my time is worth just as much to me as money in the bank. An over abundance of wealth is useless if you can't enjoy it, you're always chasing it, and when you're fast-tracking yourself into the grave stressing over accumulating wealth. Some of the most miserable human beings on Earth I've met and read about, have had insane amounts of money while some of the happiest and calmest people I've met, are ones that lead a meager financial existence. The people I've known in my life that I have admired the most are those that are insanely successful but you would never know it. The type of *self made* people that, for instance, have a few private jets at their disposal but you couldn't pick them out of a crowd let alone ever fathom them carrying that type of wealth. These are great people to surround yourself with. I've met most good souls such as this being a part of the small business world. Hard working individuals that provide jobs / opportunity to others without being, for a lack of a better description, assholes about it all are inspirational to say the least.
While I was in college surviving on ramen noodles, my Dad once said to me that a thousands dollars wasn't a lot of money. I almost spit out my 9 cent bowl of soup when I heard this. His only response to me when I told him that he was off his rocker was, "just wait until you get older." Lets just say he couldn't have been more spot on with this statement and, to this day, this has become fact in my world. A fact that I find myself hating. The more you make, the more you find yourself spending. It's pretty simple and choosing a lifestyle while finding balance in it all is something I think I'll be fighting to do for most of my life.
Fair warning with the next piece of advice I was given. It's a bit misogynistic but can be looked at in many ways. My Dad once said to me, "Son, nothing will cost your more during the course of your life than Women." This runs parallel to the phrase "if it flies, floats, or fucks, you're better off renting." This has always made me laugh. I own a watercraft and, damn, they cost a lot to keep up and you eventually leave them sitting in a garage somewhere after riding the hell out of them :) All kidding aside, I'm not blind to the fact that my Dad's statement, most likely, comes from his own challenges and failures within his love life. I get that and respect that. However, in a broader and less harsh sense, I've learned and translated the following from this particular particle of shit my Dad said to me: Your closest relationships to others whether intimate or not will cost you the most in the course of your life. We not only invest finances in many close relationships with others but we also make large emotional investments in others. I believe you should invest both in people that you are close to. If you don't, what's the point of bothering with it all? You'll never move anything forward not investing in it. So, open your wallet and especially your heart or failure will bite you in the ass. And, yes, I'd have to agree with my Dad. Relationships of an intimate nature can become gravely expensive endeavors in every sense. Healthy relationships should be respected and worked at. You should always be able to stand on your own, be comfortable with being alone and content doing so when you must, strive to stand next to someone rather than be in their shadow or be dragging someone behind you. Good lovers are good partners and should offer much to one another in return. What you have to offer doesn't always need to be solely financial in nature but the idea here is to pull your weight and be close to someone willing to pull their weight or you'll pay a great price.
Well, that's some of the shit my Dad has said to me at a young age that has stuck with me. Thanks, Dad.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
You
You are not your bra size, nor are you the width of your waist, nor are you the slenderness of your calves. You are not your hair color, your skin color, nor are you a shade of lipstick. Your shoe size is of no consequence. You are not defined by the amount of attention you get from males, females, or any combination thereof. You are not the number of sit-ups you can do, nor are you the number of calories in a day. You are not your mustache. You are not the hair on your legs. You are not a little red dress. You are no amalgam of these things. You are the content of your character. You are the ambitions that drive you. You are the goals that you set. You are the things that you laugh at and the words that you say. You are the thoughts you think and the things you wonder. You are beautiful and desirable not for the clique you attend, but for the spark of life within you that compels you to make your life a full and meaningful one. You are beautiful not for the shape of the vessel, but for the volume of the soul it carries.
The basket, the lotion, the hose, and being precious
He tells her to "put the fuckin' lotion in the basket or it gets the hose again!" Why? Because he wants a nice soft skin suit to wear around town even though he rarely leaves his basement. He refers to her as "it" as to not humanize the situation; to avoid feeling emotion so he can continue to avoid something cruel. Well, my precious, it's funny how we all throw up our walls and do the same. So, go ahead. Run from your emotions. Dehumanize everything and yourself for that matter to "protect" yourself from harsh realities. I dunno, to me it just leaves you as that creepy person that wants to wear a skin suit around town but, in reality, you end up hiding in your basement, petting a poodle, tucking your junk, and putting lipstick on over and over again trying to feel sexy. Sounds fucked up and miserable doesn't it? That's because it is!
-Inspired by Buffalo Bill, The Lambs, and all you assholes out there too afraid to show some emotion and be honest about them versus hiding like a little bitch :)
-Inspired by Buffalo Bill, The Lambs, and all you assholes out there too afraid to show some emotion and be honest about them versus hiding like a little bitch :)
Conumdrum of "Hell"
They tend to say that hell is crowded. However, I tend to think that while you're in hell, you always seem to be alone. If you tell anyone that you're in hell, they think you're crazy but being in hell is crazy.
The Problem
The problem with drinking is that, if something bad happens, you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens, you drink to celebrate; and if nothing happens, you drink to make something happen.
The same goes for drugs...pills...your poison...
The same goes for drugs...pills...your poison...
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Push the Paradigm
The following is a thread of conversation I started among friends and thought it was worthy of my blog:
I sleep and work when I want. My schedule is all over the place. I put in 11 years of stress and risk building something to sustain myself and afford me certain luxuries and freedoms. In all this, I've never once paid a bill late due to lack of funds and have sustained credit in the 96 percentile for years. I put in more years in school, working for a *pittance* in the public sector (24k-26k/yr) after 75k was spent on my college education in 1990's dollars, and then worked within the private sector before taking the largest risk by striking out on my own. I came from nothing but love. I was raised in a single Mother household of 2 children from the get go where times were extremely tough for our little household. Looking at the big picture, a very small bit of financial help was given. I'm thankful for every shred of support my family gave at a young age and thankful to have grown up with an incredible role model. My Sister worked her heart and soul to the bone to become an M.D. and didn't just eek by her journey in receiving her medical license. She was rarely beyond the top 5 in large classes of peers when graduating each step along the way. Let's just say that, as a young confused teenager, I was on the path to utter loserville and I credit watching my Sister graduate #2 in her class of 800 during high school while getting accepted to one of the most prestigious undergrad programs in America, among many other accolades, was a major wake up call for me. Come hell or high water, I wasn't going to be the problem kid all my life as I had my moments and handouts were not an option in my family. However, I would have to do it my way and I quickly strayed from the traditional.
Americans work too damn much. We spend more time with the people in the office than our family, loved ones, and friends. Pitifully, most people are simply taking up desk space and office time doing absolutely nothing! Why must people be made to physically be somewhere when they are accomplishing nothing? People should only work when being 100% productive or when there is an opportunity to be 100% productive. Being chained to a desk waiting for something to act upon that effects the bottom line due to the 9 to 5 paradigm is Dinosaur mentality. Of course, there are jobs out there which you are productive every moment you are there but most of them aren't found in corporate cubicle farms. They are found in service industries which are full of respectable, hard working, and even wildly successful people for whom I admire knowing I couldn't do what they do.
So, yes, our typical work mentality makes no sense to me at all especially when you've got better luck finding an 8 legged ballerina than securing a proper retirement package or steady employment over the years from a single corporate entity these days. This isn't the 50's or 60's anymore and corporations will cut your ass at 50 years old quicker than a virgin loses their flower on prom night. I've seen this happen first hand with family members dedicating themselves for most of their lives for one corporate stable only to get shit on in the end. It's not worth taking the chance and I'd rather get with the lot that employs over 80% of Americans. Small business. Last, we are the least traveled culture on Earth due to this whack work "ethic" that everyone hates and our ignorant attitude saying, "America is the best...why would I want to go anywhere else?" There's no arguing it. I've met citizens from all over the world that are more worldly at 24 years old than 90% of Americans as travel is part of their education and life at a young age. I've met people that think I'm downright off and even seem to quietly criticize me for going to "odd" far off places. I've been asked, "what's over there that's so fascinating? What's over there that we Americans don't have...we have it all here." The best answer to this is, "I DON'T KNOW...THAT'S THE MAIN REASON TO GO...TO FIND OUT!"
I'll eventually get off my soap box but I've been thinking quite a bit about this. Outside of professionally licensed professions, our entire education system in the USA is a joke designed to put people in debt and enslave them as obedient monkeys to those that hold 99.9% of the wealth in this country. College is an evil business supported by and built by people that own us. I'll raise my Son with this knowledge and let him make his own decisions on how to proceed with his life. I'll want him to listen to his heart versus high school counselors telling him that, "without going straight to college, you'll be flipping burgers for the rest of your life." I'll encourage him to challenge people that seem to shovel manure around for a living. Most of the innovative billionaires and visionaries in this world are educational system dropouts and this speaks volumes. I actually know some people personally like this that excel and make insanely successful financial strides after dropping the educational system. We should encourage passions in this country backed by the tools and means to pursue such passions versus enrollment and degrees as these things are old fashioned and antiquated ways of thinking. We should also encourage people to organize their world to have the freedom to sleep weird hours and live outside of the box created by the 99.9% of the ass hats holding the cash, owning this country, and steering it horribly wrong to keep controlling interest of it all while our currency fails miserably under mounting debt caused by horrid policy. F*ck the norm. Shift the paradigm so people can never "work" a day in their life by simply doing something that they have a passion for.
Did you really think the world would let slavery go? Pfft! They've just gift wrapped it! For most, college is an avenue to being an indentured servant.
I sleep and work when I want. My schedule is all over the place. I put in 11 years of stress and risk building something to sustain myself and afford me certain luxuries and freedoms. In all this, I've never once paid a bill late due to lack of funds and have sustained credit in the 96 percentile for years. I put in more years in school, working for a *pittance* in the public sector (24k-26k/yr) after 75k was spent on my college education in 1990's dollars, and then worked within the private sector before taking the largest risk by striking out on my own. I came from nothing but love. I was raised in a single Mother household of 2 children from the get go where times were extremely tough for our little household. Looking at the big picture, a very small bit of financial help was given. I'm thankful for every shred of support my family gave at a young age and thankful to have grown up with an incredible role model. My Sister worked her heart and soul to the bone to become an M.D. and didn't just eek by her journey in receiving her medical license. She was rarely beyond the top 5 in large classes of peers when graduating each step along the way. Let's just say that, as a young confused teenager, I was on the path to utter loserville and I credit watching my Sister graduate #2 in her class of 800 during high school while getting accepted to one of the most prestigious undergrad programs in America, among many other accolades, was a major wake up call for me. Come hell or high water, I wasn't going to be the problem kid all my life as I had my moments and handouts were not an option in my family. However, I would have to do it my way and I quickly strayed from the traditional.
Americans work too damn much. We spend more time with the people in the office than our family, loved ones, and friends. Pitifully, most people are simply taking up desk space and office time doing absolutely nothing! Why must people be made to physically be somewhere when they are accomplishing nothing? People should only work when being 100% productive or when there is an opportunity to be 100% productive. Being chained to a desk waiting for something to act upon that effects the bottom line due to the 9 to 5 paradigm is Dinosaur mentality. Of course, there are jobs out there which you are productive every moment you are there but most of them aren't found in corporate cubicle farms. They are found in service industries which are full of respectable, hard working, and even wildly successful people for whom I admire knowing I couldn't do what they do.
So, yes, our typical work mentality makes no sense to me at all especially when you've got better luck finding an 8 legged ballerina than securing a proper retirement package or steady employment over the years from a single corporate entity these days. This isn't the 50's or 60's anymore and corporations will cut your ass at 50 years old quicker than a virgin loses their flower on prom night. I've seen this happen first hand with family members dedicating themselves for most of their lives for one corporate stable only to get shit on in the end. It's not worth taking the chance and I'd rather get with the lot that employs over 80% of Americans. Small business. Last, we are the least traveled culture on Earth due to this whack work "ethic" that everyone hates and our ignorant attitude saying, "America is the best...why would I want to go anywhere else?" There's no arguing it. I've met citizens from all over the world that are more worldly at 24 years old than 90% of Americans as travel is part of their education and life at a young age. I've met people that think I'm downright off and even seem to quietly criticize me for going to "odd" far off places. I've been asked, "what's over there that's so fascinating? What's over there that we Americans don't have...we have it all here." The best answer to this is, "I DON'T KNOW...THAT'S THE MAIN REASON TO GO...TO FIND OUT!"
I'll eventually get off my soap box but I've been thinking quite a bit about this. Outside of professionally licensed professions, our entire education system in the USA is a joke designed to put people in debt and enslave them as obedient monkeys to those that hold 99.9% of the wealth in this country. College is an evil business supported by and built by people that own us. I'll raise my Son with this knowledge and let him make his own decisions on how to proceed with his life. I'll want him to listen to his heart versus high school counselors telling him that, "without going straight to college, you'll be flipping burgers for the rest of your life." I'll encourage him to challenge people that seem to shovel manure around for a living. Most of the innovative billionaires and visionaries in this world are educational system dropouts and this speaks volumes. I actually know some people personally like this that excel and make insanely successful financial strides after dropping the educational system. We should encourage passions in this country backed by the tools and means to pursue such passions versus enrollment and degrees as these things are old fashioned and antiquated ways of thinking. We should also encourage people to organize their world to have the freedom to sleep weird hours and live outside of the box created by the 99.9% of the ass hats holding the cash, owning this country, and steering it horribly wrong to keep controlling interest of it all while our currency fails miserably under mounting debt caused by horrid policy. F*ck the norm. Shift the paradigm so people can never "work" a day in their life by simply doing something that they have a passion for.
Did you really think the world would let slavery go? Pfft! They've just gift wrapped it! For most, college is an avenue to being an indentured servant.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Positive stress
I remember long ago studying psychology while away at University. During one course, the subject of stress came up. This is a subject I believe everyone in the room could jump for joy over as we could actually deeply and easily relate to such a subject while trudging through the challenges of figuring out who the hell we were in this world and meeting the the challenges being thrown at us by overzealous private University professors looking to weed out the stoners and time wasters. Well, I doubt those dumb ass trust fund babies going to school for the hell of it, those there for the beer, or the bow headed Women at school solely to get their MRS. degree gave a damn about stress but I and many others did.
When the subject of "positive stress" was put upon the table, my mind spun. How the hell can stress be a positive thing? It was explained that positive stress was the type of stress that motivates us. The type that pushes us. An elementary example of this would be a airplane departure time you must meet. As the clock ticks down, the stress of being prepared and on time will motivate your ass to get your proverbial shit together and get out the door.
Over the years, I haven't been a pro at managing stress. I'm downright lousy at it. I worry far too much for stupid reasons and have led a charmed life if you put it under a microscope. Many people on this Earth have a hard time finding clean drinking water and most have insane challenges keeping a roof over their head and food on the table. Have I worked hard to get where I am? Yes. However, I realize that one of the key factors in anything good that has come my way has been self-discipline. For me, self-discipline is easy to toss out the window. I don't have a clock to punch or a regimented schedule to follow. I've worked hard to create a small business that sustains my needs and allows me to meet my responsibilities. The one thing that has driven me though is positive stress. When I worry, it feels like a fire within me that I must desperately put out. A fire that must be put out NOW...not later. Have you ever had a conflict with someone you care about and felt the nagging need to resolve the issue and clear the air with that person right away? Yeah, you have. Well, that's positive stress at work for you. That's positive stress motivating you in a particular direction and to make particular choices which will guide you down the path of life in the proper direction.
Lately, I've looked back and seen this in action. I've worried far too much for very little reason in retrospect. Positive stress kicked in and my perceived problems started flying out the window quickly due to my actions under my own stressors.
So, stress is an evil thing but necessary to keep us on our toes. The next time you find yourself about to lose your marbles, slow down and think of how you can motivate yourself, change directions, and get back on solid ground. Life is mostly made of rough times sprinkled with moments of joy. It's how you deal with the rough times that marks your character. I have a sensible feeling that I'll be working on this skill as I walk right into the grave and be utterly jealous of those that walk in ignorant bliss or have the magical ability to be fine with the rivers of life carrying them along like a twig floating on it's shoulders.
When the subject of "positive stress" was put upon the table, my mind spun. How the hell can stress be a positive thing? It was explained that positive stress was the type of stress that motivates us. The type that pushes us. An elementary example of this would be a airplane departure time you must meet. As the clock ticks down, the stress of being prepared and on time will motivate your ass to get your proverbial shit together and get out the door.
Over the years, I haven't been a pro at managing stress. I'm downright lousy at it. I worry far too much for stupid reasons and have led a charmed life if you put it under a microscope. Many people on this Earth have a hard time finding clean drinking water and most have insane challenges keeping a roof over their head and food on the table. Have I worked hard to get where I am? Yes. However, I realize that one of the key factors in anything good that has come my way has been self-discipline. For me, self-discipline is easy to toss out the window. I don't have a clock to punch or a regimented schedule to follow. I've worked hard to create a small business that sustains my needs and allows me to meet my responsibilities. The one thing that has driven me though is positive stress. When I worry, it feels like a fire within me that I must desperately put out. A fire that must be put out NOW...not later. Have you ever had a conflict with someone you care about and felt the nagging need to resolve the issue and clear the air with that person right away? Yeah, you have. Well, that's positive stress at work for you. That's positive stress motivating you in a particular direction and to make particular choices which will guide you down the path of life in the proper direction.
Lately, I've looked back and seen this in action. I've worried far too much for very little reason in retrospect. Positive stress kicked in and my perceived problems started flying out the window quickly due to my actions under my own stressors.
So, stress is an evil thing but necessary to keep us on our toes. The next time you find yourself about to lose your marbles, slow down and think of how you can motivate yourself, change directions, and get back on solid ground. Life is mostly made of rough times sprinkled with moments of joy. It's how you deal with the rough times that marks your character. I have a sensible feeling that I'll be working on this skill as I walk right into the grave and be utterly jealous of those that walk in ignorant bliss or have the magical ability to be fine with the rivers of life carrying them along like a twig floating on it's shoulders.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wretch
"I felt like crying but nothing came out. it was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can’t feel any worse. I think you know it."
For me, I actually wretch and gag as the blackness inside tries to escape the storm inside.
"I think everybody knows it now and then. but I think I have known it pretty often, too often."
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Another Bed
"another bed
another women
more curtainsanother women
another bathroom
another kitchen
other eyes
other hair
other
feet and toes.
everybodys looking.
the eternal search.
you stay in bed
she gets dressed for work
and you wonder what happened
to the last one
and the one after that…"
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Delusion = Love
It pains me how delusional I was to think that you would sacrifice anything for me when you couldn't sacrifice anything for your own blood.
Friend's retort in honor of my character - "There's a difference between being delusional and in love. You once fell victim to the later."
Well, shit! Truth? Being in love seems delusional. Leave the very definition of it on the sidewalks of your tortured soul. Instead, let it wander to you without words, without meaning, and without warning. Perhaps, this way, it can endure but not without clawing with compromise, understanding, and yes...sacrifice.
Friend's retort in honor of my character - "There's a difference between being delusional and in love. You once fell victim to the later."
Well, shit! Truth? Being in love seems delusional. Leave the very definition of it on the sidewalks of your tortured soul. Instead, let it wander to you without words, without meaning, and without warning. Perhaps, this way, it can endure but not without clawing with compromise, understanding, and yes...sacrifice.
Virtue
"I want to be
the one
you want in your
mind and your gut and
your bathroom.
But I don’t want you
to fuck the whole
world to find out."
the one
you want in your
mind and your gut and
your bathroom.
But I don’t want you
to fuck the whole
world to find out."
Monday, April 25, 2011
Life is a mysterious gift, but a gift it is..
It's hard to convey what positive words from loved ones mean to me in my moments of utter confusion, despair, and otherworldly emotion. My passion for life, words, people, connections, and hearts runs deep. Lately, it all seems shallow, wobbly, and contorted. It's offensive how anyone can feel so empty while surrounded by so much greatness in their present and in their past. None of it makes sense to me. NONE. It makes me want to beat myself up for feeling anything other than utter joy. However, emotions run deeper than most can comprehend. No matter how much money, love, or accomplishment we endure, it seems too god damn easy to find misery, hurt, and doubt within ourselves. It doesn't happen all the time but life undulates as such. Like driftwood rolling upon the waves of the sea, we are granted the great gift of pain and joy in alternating states thru that which is the astounding journey of life.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Misogyny?
I was struck by this piece not because I'm some sort of misogynistic bastard but because I found it thought provoking, insightful, and actually a bit funny. Most of my good friends are Women and I'm sure I'll catch some opinion over this.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Dissappear
"Lately, the feeling of wanting to disappear chases me and it runs in circles inside my head. It does not leave. The thoughts of leaving and forgetting of the things that once were and now they have faded away. I just want to get away and perhaps recover. But this idea is close to me when I close my eyes. However when I open them the reality hits and it is impossible for it to ever come true. The lack of motivation, leaves me empty. Each new day is a new beginning they say, but for me its just another day to fight for something that I don’t even know of. The only time I feel at peace is when I sleep. But once the noise of a new day, it fills up my mind with the feeling of wanting to disappear. I have tried to fight this feeling but there is only so much I can do. Come April, I want to get up and start over. I have some hope, but not much. All I want is to feel the breeze of spring and think that everything will be okay."
Friday, March 25, 2011
Easier said than done...
To let go isn’t to forget, not think about, or ignore. It doesn’t have any feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn’t winning or losing. It’s not about pride. It’s not about obsessing or dwelling on the past. It isn’t about loss and it’s not defeat. To let go is to cherish memories, but to overcome and move on. Letting go is accepting. Letting go is having the courage to accept change. Letting go is growing up.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
You can't fix stupid
I've always thought of myself of a somewhat positive and successful soul wandering this Earth for a reason. What that reason may be is a lifelong pursuit. If you haven't realized this by now, you're probably still living in your parent's basement nursing a bong load. I envy the bliss of that type of ignorance and carefree existence. It's something I've never had the luxury of owning no matter how hard I've worked.
I may die searching for a "reason" as things that appear real and meaningful are often veiled with confusion and/or are simply idiosyncratic. What I perceive to be actions in pursuit of excellence or, to put things in basal terms, "good" may be complete wastes of time and energy to most. I've often thought of myself to be a man that renders his reality in torturous loops of logic but nails decisions down at the last moment with what touches my heart with the strength of a whisper. I'm a victim of my own emotions as so many are but, more often, a victim of continuous thoughts of right and wrong. However, the right or wrong I ponder is mostly focused on things outside myself. If I could only abandon my complete stubbornness for a moment, perhaps I could fix my own "stupid" rather than wasting my time trying to fix the "stupid" of others.
People rarely change. I doubt I will.
I may die searching for a "reason" as things that appear real and meaningful are often veiled with confusion and/or are simply idiosyncratic. What I perceive to be actions in pursuit of excellence or, to put things in basal terms, "good" may be complete wastes of time and energy to most. I've often thought of myself to be a man that renders his reality in torturous loops of logic but nails decisions down at the last moment with what touches my heart with the strength of a whisper. I'm a victim of my own emotions as so many are but, more often, a victim of continuous thoughts of right and wrong. However, the right or wrong I ponder is mostly focused on things outside myself. If I could only abandon my complete stubbornness for a moment, perhaps I could fix my own "stupid" rather than wasting my time trying to fix the "stupid" of others.
People rarely change. I doubt I will.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)