I've always thought of myself of a somewhat positive and successful soul wandering this Earth for a reason. What that reason may be is a lifelong pursuit. If you haven't realized this by now, you're probably still living in your parent's basement nursing a bong load. I envy the bliss of that type of ignorance and carefree existence. It's something I've never had the luxury of owning no matter how hard I've worked.
I may die searching for a "reason" as things that appear real and meaningful are often veiled with confusion and/or are simply idiosyncratic. What I perceive to be actions in pursuit of excellence or, to put things in basal terms, "good" may be complete wastes of time and energy to most. I've often thought of myself to be a man that renders his reality in torturous loops of logic but nails decisions down at the last moment with what touches my heart with the strength of a whisper. I'm a victim of my own emotions as so many are but, more often, a victim of continuous thoughts of right and wrong. However, the right or wrong I ponder is mostly focused on things outside myself. If I could only abandon my complete stubbornness for a moment, perhaps I could fix my own "stupid" rather than wasting my time trying to fix the "stupid" of others.
People rarely change. I doubt I will.
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