Sports Suck!

First, a warning.  This article contains strong and somewhat "manly" language.  It's only fitting to stoop down a linguistic level and resort to using language normally reserved for Neanderthals and Jersey Shore juicers when talking about sports. 

Before I even dared to form my thoughts into written form over my opinion on this matter, I already expected a backlash from many people I consider friends.  To me, that's fine.  Anything written that provokes emotion, heated but healthy debate, and general hysteria is worth putting out there.  Things such as this invigorate and stimulate the mind.  Sporting events, however, do little to stimulate my mind.  In general, sports deaden my mind and simply annoy the utter shit out of me.  People that go ape shit crazy over a game on TV and base their entire day on watching a particular sporting event annoy me to no end.  I can't count how many times I've contacted a friend and asked if they'd like to join me for a meal or other activity only to have a stern, "No way, man!  The Mississippi Mud Midgets versus The Dover Dick Nuggets game is on TV today" directed towards me in a tone that states several things:

• Are you an idiot for not knowing that so and so game is being played and shown on TV today?
• Were you born without a set of balls?
• Are you some sort of sissy?
• Do you lack proper manhood and/or masculinity?
• How in the world could you conceive of something more valuable or fulfilling to do with your time on this day while I can barely reserve time to evacuate my bowels while The Mud Midgets battle The Dick Nuggets so fiercely on the field today?

This is all disturbing to me and I suppose if I were a "real man" in the eyes of these sorts, I would want to reach through the phone and choke the living shit out of the douchebag on the other end of the line for threatening my testosterone level in such a way.  Alas, I don't feel that need.  I simply roll my eyes and politely tell them to enjoy themselves while I go about my day.  To each their own.

Don't get me wrong.  Athletics and sporting events don't wholly suck.  They do mostly suck, though.  I do perceive some value in sporting events and I've even played certain sports.  Since I've actually participated, I feel that it gives me license to toss my opinion out there.  Nothing grinds my gears more than people pontificating on certain subjects with absolutely no personal experience to back up their rants.

On the subject of watching sporting events, I think public gatherings for live sporting events can be quite exciting.  I used to love attending Pittsburgh Penguin NHL games back in the day when Mario Lemieux and Jaromir Jager helped bring the city back to back Stanley Cups.  I grew up in Pittsburgh and my friend, who always had season tickets, was generous enough to take me along to the games regularly during those days.  I also used to love attending major league baseball games.  Enjoying some cold beers while shelling peanuts and taking in what is, arguably, one of the most boring sports to watch besides golf can actually be mighty relaxing in my opinion.  Last, as far as watching sports on TV goes, I love the Olympic games.  Most of the events being practiced are exotic disciplines that you just don't see that often.  Watching the world come together for peaceful competition versus mindlessly killing each other over political or religious reasons actually puts hope in my heart for the human race.

On the subject of actually playing sports, believe it or not, I actually played ice hockey for fun and exercise at one point in my life.  Was I good at it?  Hell, no!  I was pretty horrible at it but my buddies and I would pool our money together to rent the rink from time to time and play.  Have I ever been good at any sport?  Arguably and surprisingly, yes.  I grew up attending some pretty impressive golf camps.  My first real professional teacher of the sport coached Jack Nicklaus.  The Golden Bear himself.  I played for many years mainly because my Father has been somewhat of a golf fanatic all his life.  People always told me I was a natural at it and I even took Summer jobs at driving ranges.  Deep down I began hating the game, though.  My attention span for the sport grew thin.  Standing in the middle of a field chasing a tiny ball into a gopher hole 12 miles away with a little metal stick while baking in the sun became infuriating to me.  Ironically, I've actually played / participated in actual sports more than your average meat headed barfly that annoyingly hoots and hollers at the local bar while watching the Saucy Town Scat Nibblers battle it out with the Turkington Turd Burglars on a Sunday afternoon.

Through all this, I still consider myself a sports hater.  I loathe lounging in a bar trying to have intelligent conversation and having 234 TV panels being turned up so a bunch of yodeling yeehaws can puff out their chests and scream at something I view as meaningless to our existence.  No sporting event has started or stopped a war.  No sporting event has ever truly affected the local or global economy.  No sporting event has shifted global trade.  No sporting event has curbed suffering from hunger or disease.  In all this, you catch my drift.  Sports are simply an entertainment outlet.  Sports are an escape from reality for some people.  I understand all this.  However, for some odd reason, it's the one entertainment outlet that's treated by many as a life altering moment.  By the utterly annoying cacophony of sound coming out of local bar patron Bob Slidinski, you would think his first born was exiting the birth canal.  Nope, that jarring sound you heard was simply caused by some dude he doesn't know on the boob tube crossing a line drawn on the ground with some animal skin held to tension by air pressure.  In retrospect, most "amazing" games played disappear from memory like a fart in the wind.  This leaves me wondering why the hell so much time and energy was put into the thing in the first place.

The most ludicrous phenomenon in the sporting community is that of the sports announcer.  The mouthpieces of meat heads.  I'd like to shove these blowhards into a blender with the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck and hit puree.  The extent and level to which these talking heads take sports amazes me.  The fact that these people have the ability to recall inane statistics such as the weight of the dirt collected in Jacko Johnheimers jock strap when he slid into home plate in 1912 at so and so game makes my head spin.  What's even more mind boggling to me is that these people can relate said weight of jock strap dirt collected in 1912 to what just happened as the Kentucky Krinkle Dicks won over the Virginia Vajayjays.  It's simply amazing to me.  I don't think government economists can wrangle statistics as effectively as these people.  I would honestly admire this talent if it actually created anything of value.

In the world of entertainment, to each his own.  Certain things I view as entertainment are viewed as drivel by others.  I understand and respect this.  However, the social pressure for everyone to actually give a f*ck about sporting events is what really chars my nards.  The fact that I'm viewed as someone who has been "living under a rock" because, without fail, each year I have no damn clue who's playing in the super bowl even a day before the game pisses me off.  The mass hysteria and sheep-like existence of sports fans knows no boundaries in many realms.  The fact that my pursuits of more enlightening endeavors on any given Sunday (like my reference there?), is looked down upon by some is just as silly and humorous as the sports themselves.

Father Forgets

Raising a child is no easy feat.  It's a monumental one and every parent is going to screw it up to some degree.  I don't care who you are.  As an adult, we can all dig deep into our psyche and blame odd behaviors on the way we were raised whether it be the environment we were surrounded by, the type of discipline our parents put forth, the lack of said discipline, the types of adversity our family unit went through, and so many other factors.  The fact is, you can only do your best under given circumstances and hope you give your child the tools to cope with the harsh realities of life and give them some sort of advantage to deal with such realities.  

I'm quite OCD in my own little ways.  Anyone that has met me is bound to agree to some extent.  People that walk into my house for the first time typically say, "wow, this place is clean."  Yes, I obsess a bit and get worked up and anxious when things aren't quite in their right place.  I'm not saying this is my only imperfection but it's one that relates to what I'm trying to get at.

My Sister knows me fairly well.  I would hope so.  We grew up together.  On many occasions she suggested I read something called "Father Forgets."  I didn't know exactly what she was getting at until she printed the thing and put it in a Father's day card to me.  Reading it brought a tear to my eye.  I was first struck and touched at how well my Sister knew me as a person.  I was then struck by a sense of fear of what would come of my behavior around my little boy.  While he doesn't live under my roof, I do try to spend quite a bit of time with him.  Father Forgets rattled my cage.  There is a strong message in it for both a Mother and a Father.  There is also a touching message in the reading about the nature of childhood and the responsibility we have as parents.  It’s up to the adult to have the love in our hearts, an ultimate sense of patience, and the kindness of a gentle heart to teach them all they need to learn.  Last, we must always remember that they do not know what we know.

Childhood is so many things wrapped up into one.  It's full of innocence, learning, physical and mental growth, dealing with and conquering fears, the gaining of perspective and sense of self, and so much more.  However, the most important thing to remember about childhood is that God wants us to do one thing with it.  Have fun.  No other time in our life will we be able to find happiness in such simple things.  No other time in our life will entering a new room become a whole new universe to explore.  No other time in our life will we be fearless to love and learn new things.  No other time in our life will we be as trusting.

Father Forgets reminds us of this and I simply wanted to share it here.  Thanks, Sis.  While I hope I don't forget, I'm sure I will from time to time because I have left childhood's vessel long ago.

Father Forgets

Listen, son:
I am saying this as you lie asleep,
one little paw crumpled under your cheek and
the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead.
I have stolen into your room alone.
Just a few minutes ago,
as I sat reading my paper in the library,
a stifling wave of remorse swept over me.
Guiltily I came to your bedside.

There are the things I was thinking,
son: I had been cross to you.
I scolded you as you were dressing for school
because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel.
I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes.
I called out angrily
when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too.
You spilled things.
You gulped down your food.
You put your elbows on the table.
You spread butter too thick on your bread.
And as you started off to play
and I made for my train,
you turned and waved a hand
and called, 'Goodbye, Daddy!'
and I frowned, and said in reply,
'Hold your shoulders back!'

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon.
As I came up the road I spied you,
down on your knees, playing marbles.
There were holes in your stockings.
I humiliated you before your boyfriends
by marching you ahead of me to the house.
Stockings were expensive -
and if you had to buy them you would be more careful!
Imagine that, son, from a father!

Do you remember,
later, when I was reading in the library,
how you came in timidly,
with a sort of hurt look in your eyes?
When I glanced up over my paper,
impatient at the interruption,
you hesitated at the door.
'What is it you want?' I snapped.
You said nothing,
but ran across in one tempestuous plunge,
and threw your arms around my neck
and kissed me,
and your small arms tightened
with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart
and which even neglect could not wither.
And then you were gone,
pattering up the stairs.

Well, son,
it was shortly afterwards
that my paper slipped from my hands
and a terrible sickening fear came over me.
What has habit been doing to me?
The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding
- this was my reward to you for being a boy.
It was not that I did not love you;
it was that I expected too much of youth.
I was measuring you
by the yardstick of my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine
and true in your character.
The little heart of you
was as big as the dawn itself
over the wide hills.
This was shown by your spontaneous impulse
to rush in and kiss me good night.
Nothing else matters tonight, son.
I have come to your bedside in the darkness,
and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is a feeble atonement;
I know you would not understand these things
if I told them to you during your waking hours.
But tomorrow
I will be a real daddy!
I will chum with you,
and suffer when you suffer,
and laugh when you laugh.
I will bite my tongue
when impatient words come.
I will keep saying as if it were a ritual:
'He is nothing but a boy - a little boy!'

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man.
Yet as I see you now, son,
crumpled and weary in your cot,
I see that you are still a baby.
Yesterday you were in your mother's arms,
your head on her shoulder.
I have asked too much, too much.

- W. Livingston Larned

Pic of Cash by J. Falvo (Me) - "Little Boy in a Big World"

Disney parks and the frustrating lack of maintenance. Why my Disney dollar is best spent at the Tokyo Disney Resort

Recently, a great discussion was started by a Facebook update from Gary Chambers (Mouse Lounge podcast) in regards to Disney failing to fix some key show elements at two different parks.  One was "Murphy" who is the AA dragon in Fantasmic that was put into place amid a great marketing campaign during the Summer of 2009.  One year later, the dragon has consistently been absent from the show.  The other, and IMHO Disney's greatest offense, is the large Yeti AA figure inside the Expedition Everest attraction at Disney's Animal Kingdom.

As the thread progressed, excuses in defense of Disney arose due to "engineering complications" and the great "challenges" it must be for the company to keep certain show elements or attractions running the way they were intended to.

Friend and fellow podcaster, Joel, had this to say, "Bottom line, if people are still willing to go to the parks and spend money, then Disney figures they can get away with not fixing things. When you go to Tokyo and see how those parks are run, it would amaze you. We let them get away with not upholding the highest standards."

More viewpoints were put out there by a fellow fan that made the excuse for Disney that "pushing the limits often results in failure."  After this, I had to get on my soapbox and here it is.

Joel hit the nail on the head. Period.  I'm not a total picky DF over every tiny detail but I do have stuck in my head a standard Disney should be held to as they were many years ago here in the States.  I grew up with that standard after many family trips to the parks.  It's sad that I cannot come to expect the same as an adult. Instead, I'm left wondering and anticipating what new effect / feature won't be working before I arrive at the domestic parks. That's just a sad fact.

This is the number one reason why my Disney dollar is best spent at the Tokyo Disney Resort. The standard is held and respected to the utmost level there and park tickets are, I believe, even cheaper which makes my head spin. Tokyo doesn't do anything second rate. For instance, they don't ever cut shows at slower times of the year to save money. They consistently, if not fanatically, update their entertainment options within the parks so nothing gets stale. Hell, they have new floats, music, and features for EVERY SINGLE holiday parade. Their special event / holiday parades have something new and different each and every year. Last and most importantly, maintenance is spot on with *every attraction at each park* getting one small refurb / downtime window EVERY YEAR to make sure things are in the working order originally intended by WDI's design. WDI has tried for years to completely re-design / re-theme DisneySEA's Journey Into the Center of the Earth attraction as the complicated ride vehicles and most impressive AA in Disney's collection (makes disco yeti look like a teddy bear) requires 25% of the entire park's budget each year to maintain. However, with the volcano being the park "weeny," they've painted themselves into a corner and have completely given up on trying to change things to bring the maintenance budget down. So, they continue on operating the attraction under that kind of ridiculous requirement to provide "the standard" and consistent experience each time you get on the thing. It truly is a pleasure to visit the Tokyo resort and never ever have to worry about missing a viewing of Dreamlights because of the time of year you are able to make it out or worry about not seeing your favorite effect on an attraction. I really hate taking newbies to the parks here in the states because I catch myself getting stuck trying to explain what the Yeti used to do or how Brer Rabbit is supposed to actually pop up and bound alongside your log as you make your way through the attraction.
 

In regards to possible engineering challenges faced by Disney, one of the main jobs of the people engineering the effects seen in certain attractions is to take into account repetitive stress. Secondly, the bean counters, working with the designers, are responsible for budgeting a maintenance schedule into each of these attractions to make sure they get the attention needed for consistent operation. Pushing the limit is no excuse and they haven't quite pushed the limit here in the states at all in my opinion after taking a stroll around DisneySEA to see exactly how WDI can push the limit when allowed to stretch their arms. If they aren't going to provide for proper upkeep with a new effect or feature within an attraction, they shouldn't put the damn thing on stage at all. If airline companies strapped to the gills with operating expenses, can keep some of the most complicated pieces of engineering known to man flying through the air without killing people through proper maintenance and design, the engineers at Disney can keep a few hydraulic puppets working consistently. They simply refuse to spend the money and they simply refuse to give the attraction some proper downtime in order to get things right. Again, by seeing it first hand all done right out at the Tokyo Resort, there is no excuse in my book for these show elements to be down. Not a one.

Next, it was argued that the bean counters were not necessarily running the show and proof of this was the billions of dollars being spent on re-furbishing and making Disney's California Adventure "right."  My response and opinion on the matter was as follows:

My Patience came to an end with Disco Yeti 2 years ago. Again, there is no excuse AT ALL for the one element the storyline within the Everest attraction hinges on to be out of order for this long. I've heard from a reliable WDI contact exactly why they haven't repaired it.  It has to do with them not wanting to shut the attraction down and that's all. That's just ridiculous. I know it's one of the only E-tickets at DAK and it would be a disappointment to guests that want to experience the attraction for the first time. However, it's more of a disappointment seeing a multi-million dollar effect receiving a $50 dollar treatment in the form of a strobe light. Hell, it even looked as if his eyes that used to glow red are now out. DISNEY FAIL!

Last, DCA's refurb doesn't release my opinion on bean counters consistently jacking with WDI. It only solidifies it. If they wouldn't have slashed the budget in the first place when designing the park, the idiots wouldn't have had to spend twice what they should have on the park and cause so much construction interruption for guests. Again, while I'm pleased that DCA is getting the attention it needs, it only points out something very wrong with Disney corporate policy and the relations between departments. Their fiscal policy needs to further agree with their creative policy in my opinion. Tony Baxter agrees after his statement at D23 in relation to proper budgeting for design. It was along the lines of, "do you want to be the one standing at the exit of the attraction and explain to so and so kid why the thing sucked?" I believe it received a standing O from what I've heard.

It's just funny how WDI manages to work harmoniously with both Park Ops and OLC's accountants in order to get it done right the first time and keep things on track. I can't wait to see what WDI comes up with for the 3rd gate in Tokyo. It will be a good benchmark of where WDI is at if OLC continues to do what they have been doing. Last, keep in mind that in 2009 OLC's profits dropped 78%!!!! http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118006913.html?categoryid=19&cs=1 I visited the park at the end of 2009 and nothing had changed. Effects worked, parades rolled with no cut schedule, new shows were created for the holiday, and there were no visible cast member shortages / cuts.

Florida is even worse. "Future World" needs a swift kick in the ass like DCA as it's a deplorable testament to what it once was and an embarrassment to the company. I wouldn't want my "Imagination" pavilion completely lacking one of the very things my company was founded upon. Imagination itself.

Sorry, I don't easily swallow technical excuses to mediocrity and a lack of attention to detail when someone is asking me to fork over ~$120 for a day in the park and hundreds more for an annual pass. If OLC can keep things up to snuff losing their ass one year, our domestic arms can surely figure out how to do it with a healthy profit. 

Reflections on 9/11

The ninth anniversary of 9/11 rolled around this weekend and I wanted to share my feelings and opinions about the subject here on my blog as well.

While its time to remember those who fell to unspeakable horror on 9/11, I feel it's our duty to call BULLSHIT on the lack of anything significant standing built on Ground Zero after this many years. America should be ashamed for allowing bureaucracy and red tape from holding up construction on the site. It's a damn embarrassment to this country.  Plain and simple.

 

Since 9/11, we have had time to dismantle an entire country's government while throwing our Brothers and Sisters onto death's door in Iraq. The tallest man made structure on Earth was built in 5 years during a global financial crisis. The Burj Dubai cost $1.5 billion US to build and they didn't even have the funds to complete the thing when the markets crashed. They still made it happen using the support of their neighbors.  Hence the name change to The Burj Khalifa in honor of the UAE President, Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan, for his and his country's crucial financial support.  

 

On the tenth anniversary of 9/11, $7 billion will have already been spent on the ground zero project and only 200 feet of structural steel has been built inside the pit that sits there now. Even today, the majority of the structures in the master plan for the site are in doubt or being blabbered about by what can be described as bureaucratic filibustering just to keep alive any chance of some political party, agency, or other such outfit getting a little more credit or financial gain from the project. If they keep up this spectacular rate of progress, the master plan for the site will not be completed until 2037.

On this 9th anniversary of 9/11, we should already be craning our necks at 5 spectacular structures built on that site, experiencing a $2 billion dollar train / commuter station with people surging through it, and all around the site the gentle sound of waterfalls should be heard coming from the footprints of the towers to constantly remind us of the 2,752 people murdered there and how the entire event changed our country for the better and for the worse.

This day is a sad one for our country. For more than one reason. It really and truly is. It speaks mountains about how pitifully our country is run and how infrastructure critical to the growth and stability of our country consistently gets stone walled by our state and federal government, our banking system, and other "people of influence."

Long Overdue

Anyone that bothers following my ramblings on Facebook could agree that, for me, a blog has been long overdue.  I've heard people complain that I post status updates far too often.  I've heard my comments are an eyeful at times.  I've also gotten positive feedback from my points of view from time to time.  I've always loved to write, consistently have some string of thoughts worth sharing bouncing around in my brain, and have always been better at getting my point across with the written word versus flapping my gums.  Last, I've been quite successful at bringing people together with the written word, running a business effectively and efficiently with good written communication skills, and simply connecting with people by exchanging thoughts that flow from my finger tips.  Do I command the English language as well as some out there?  Nah.  My vocabulary is mediocre in my opinion but there is always opportunity to change that.  I do feel that my sentence structure and grammar far supersedes that of the masses and this frustrates me.  Society has fallen into a terrible rut of terse written communication.  The Internet in general, the social network landscape evolving from it, and the casual written word culture stemming from email and mobile communications is strangling healthy debates, educational opinions that open our eyes to other viewpoints, and simply the power and influence the written word can have.  However, this subject, in itself, is a whole other blog post.

For those that need things summarized in 140 characters or less:

Hi, I'm Jeff.  This is my blog.  I will share things on my mind here.